God is Dead: An Introduction

Even before the Darkness came, Nova Scotians viewed the weather at best as a sort of ex-con neighbour. At times it could be warm, friendly, even welcoming - but you would never turn your back on it.

Our worst suspicions were confirmed during the month of May when the sun disappeared, not to be seen for weeks. The first cracks in the public psyche were subtle. People started to listen to Elliot Smith instead of the Beatles. Normal everyday interactions became fraught with tension ("Would you like fries with that, motherfucker?")

By week two meteorologists were hunted down like dogs and publicly executed. By week three sacrificing virgins was openly contemplated. Weddings were cancelled, for who could love at a time such as this?

Last week the Halifax Stanfield International Airport was razed when citizens vacationing down south were deemed too insufferable to be allowed to return. "Maybe some day we can rebuild," Premier Darrell Dexter whispered softly as he lowered the detonator.

Occassionally the sun would peak out and citizens would run into the streets, forgeting that vitamin-D withdrawal had made their skin dangerously fragile. "My eyes!" they would scream as blinded drivers smashed their cars into storefronts. "It burns!"

The sunlight would linger just long enough for acclimatization, then inevitably disappear the next morning. The suicide rate hit 20%. "I just don't know how many of us will live to see June," said Nova Scotia's haggard and unshaven public health officer clutching a handgun at a press conference.

This is all to say that I think we can safely agree there is no god.

Now that it's June, religion has been beaten out of us, and the sun is returning, I invite you to check back here later in the week for a riviting debate/argument/blood feud between myself and my friend Dan Logan on the topic of religion.

Rather than the usual "Is there a God?" stuff we're just going to skip past that part, assume there's not, and bicker over the question of: should athiests fight for athiesm or accept and respect religious practices?

To be continued, as soon as I come back form outside.