Mike Danton joke roundup

Nova Scotians are tickled at the news this week that former NHLer Mike Danton plans to suit up for the local Saint Mary's Huskies. Of course Danton just spent a few years in jail after admitting to a judge that he kind of, sort of, tried to have his father killed.

Like all the best controversies, the Danton matter is pretty hilarious. Here are some of the jokes I heard about it today:

"He called up the Calgary Hitmen, but they weren't looking for any centres." - G. MacDonald (identity obscured by request due to fear of retribution)

"SMU saw something in him, though. The coach said he liked Danton's killer instinct. So he's basically a lock." - also G. MacDonald

“Stieny isn’t going to bother coaching him much because he’s already shown he can’t execute the game plan.” - Adam Richardson

"I hope SMU goes after Gilbert Arenas next." - Ruari Murphy. (I've also heard or said variations of this one involving Michael Vick, Chris Benoit, O.J Simpson and - I don't really get this one - Magic Johnson.)

My personal favourite is from a sports reporter talking about needing backup the first time he interviews Danton:

“You don’t know what it’s like. You just go to a courtroom where there’s all kinds of protection. I have to go to a hockey rink where I’m going to get murdered.”

There are a lot of people bashing SMU for the move. One commenter on the Chronicle Herald website went so far as to say she would boycot Saint Mary's and ban her children from going there, which is too bad because she sounds cool.

But let's be reasonable, Danton is a great pickup for the Huskies. First, he'll be great for team chemistry. The guy's used to spending lots of time with other dudes in a close, personal environment so he'll be a natural team player. After a strenuous hockey game who wouldn't want to hit the showers with a convicted criminal? Plus, on the ice the guy is a sniper (or at least he knows one). And he's a natural enforcer because really, who's going to want to fight him?

That said he isn't a very good physical player and is known for not finishing his hits. But anything that makes AUS hockey remotely interesting is a great move in my books. I may start going to games just to hear what names the hecklers come up with. My vote is for Patty Patricide.